“Ahhh!! Less than two weeks away!!!” - Real-life quote extracted from the minds of every unprepared Dillo-er who hasn’t been following this highly informative, vital-to-life blog.
The rest of us who have been preparing are now (hopefully) fit, tan and fully accessorized humans with an elevated tolerance for alcoholic substances (or at least, for those of us who are over 21 years old), but there is still work to be done! Eleven days separate us from the main event; let’s make the most of it.
Two weeks away:
1. Schedule your drinks.
If you’re still in the midst of scheduling classes, stop that and do this instead.
The key to a fantastic Dillo is pace: what are you drinking and when? I’ve heard (from experienced, 21-year-old-and-legal adults) that some wake up early for Dillo, even before 9 a.m. If that’s your deal, have mimosas with breakfast. Light, fruity and bubbly, mimosas are perfect for the classy day drinker. Don’t be that guy pouring vodka into your soda at brunch - we may be college kids, but we’re not animals.
Gradually (and safely, mind you) move to the heavier stuff. Plan your day in timed blocks, each one an hour or two long, each one with a different drink. Go for variety, and go for safety. Use your discretion.
For maximum efficiency, plan it all out with a spreadsheet. (Shout out to all you crazy organizational type-As, I know you’re out there!) If there exists a nobler endeavor to dedicate a spreadsheet to - well, gosh darn it, I’ll be gobsmacked. So go ahead, you intense planners you! I know you’ve just been waiting around for someone to suggest a spreadsheet to satisfy your crazy organizational drives.
Pro tip: include a separate column for who picks up the tab. Everyone’s gotta contribute to make this work (and to save your wallet).
Here is a simple template for you to follow:
2. Plan for the cure.
“Hangover cures” abound (pickled plums, pickle juice, pickled herring, anyone?), but perhaps you should just stick to the standard: ibuprofen, sports drinks and brunch. (Or, check out NBN’s guide to hangover remedies.)
If you stock up now on all the essentials, I’m sure you could sell them off post-Dillo to all your friends who made poor drinking/life decisions, and make some extra money.
3. All the songs, all the time.
Charli XCX, ODESZA, Miguel - if you’re unfamiliar, it’s time to add them all to a Spotify playlist and listen on repeat. Jam to Odesza all the way down Sheridan; jog to Charli XCX on your way to the gym; “cuddle” to Miguel late at night with a significant other. Do it until you know every lyric, every key change, every dropped beat to every song, because we all know concerts are more fun when you know the music.
I know, I know - this week the checklist is actual things that require actual work, but if I’ve learned anything at this great university, it’s that most things are superior to doing homework. Get cracking, future Dillo-ers. The day is near.