People walk on eggshells around me. No cheating. No stealing. No PDA. No lying; unless they are lying to deny doing something I would not approve of.
Being a campus religious leader of House on the Rock — one of the five InterVarsity chapters on our campus — was a “hat” I wore, like no other I had worn before.
I recall, after a Bible study last year, everyone was intently listening to one member descriptively recounting their weekends. As I joined the group to listen, conversation hushed. “I can’t say that in front of you,” she said. I thought I was included in we, not “you.”
Just one of many examples, this incident shows how religious leaders become part of a different category.
There is a “distinction.” People know that I take my faith seriously and assume that means I hate fun. If I wanted to kill fun, I would have gone to school across town.
Yet, because this particular hat looks more like a halo in some people’s eyes, it can be hard to connect on issues not related to religion. Some students force conversations to center on religion so that I don’t judge them. While others avoid conversations all together because they fear I will end every casual conversation with a less-than-casual, ‘Have you been to church lately?’ ‘How’s your spiritual life?,’ or ‘Let’s pray.’ I only do that occasionally.
There is another side to this coin. Religious leaders experience high accountability for their actions as well. That means no lying, no PDA and no partying for me either — hence why as a senior I haven’t made out in the Shakespeare Garden.
Aside: If anyone wants to help me accomplish that, meet me this Saturday at midnight.
More than once I’ve been “called out” on what is deemed “unholy behavior.” “You dance like that” people have said and I’d argue the cabbage patch hardly qualifies as anti-Biblical.
Granted, everyone I meet doesn’t automatically treat me this way, and I don’t add “I’m super Christian” to introductions. But like every Northwestern student when choosing the student activity I would be most committed to I chose to join a religious organization. The same way other students are known by their affiliation with a Greek organization, or A&O or ASG, I am known for spending my time in Bible studies. As one friend said, “People know you by your religious involvement.” So while most of the conversations like the one described above stem from people who share my religious views and interact with me in religious organizations, less direct exclusions come from people who are aware of my affiliation and assume I wouldn’t want to engage in things like alcohol (even though I’m 21), partying or watching certain movies because I am “super religious.”
On the other hand, I’ve had conversations very different from the one mentioned above; conversations about hardships at home, changing religions in college or considering dating someone of a different religion. People also place trust in me that they wouldn’t consider even testing with other people. Exclusion from a party anecdote has meant inclusion in a lot of deeper relationships. I have developed some of the closest friendships because of my confidence keeping confessional status. And if missing some party gossip was the biggest expense, I’m still in the black with a huge net profit: My friends being the bottom line.
Even though I’d never trade the things I’ve gained to talk about PDA, I am still bothered by being excluded in that conversation. It’s obvious it’s not because I want to be “in the know,” it’s because I don’t want to misrepresent what my role as a campus religious leader means.
I didn’t assume the role to judge anyone, send them to hell or question someone’s faith — and certainly not to be a perfect model of faith because I’m definitely not (I’m already asking forgiveness for the upcoming Shakespeare Garden episode). It was important to me to continue my journey of faith in college and share that journey with others — as a contributor, not an overbearing observer. Most importantly, I wanted to find ways to maintain my commitment to God while enjoying all of the craziness that college offers.
So once and for all I’m setting the record straight: If people invite me to parties, I leave the holy oil at home.
Read more student perspectives on spirituality.