Watch this space for a liveblog of Super Bowl XLI.
5:26 – Coin flip! The Bears have it. So Chicago’s going to win, right?
First Quarter
5:29 – Unreal. Devin Hester just single-handedly crushed Indianapolis. I’ve always thought it was a little premature when every sports announcer anointed him the Messiah of kick returns, but now I’m a believer. Turns out that coin flip did make a difference.
5:31 – Colts fans dreaming of a kick return TD of their own. Not so much.
5:36 – Technical difficulties are making this live blog a little difficult. On the last drive, false starts and the Bears D rendered the Colts hapless.
5:38 -On 3rd and 4, Grossman (Good Rex or Bad Rex?) goes deep, but to no avail. Broadcasters’ hopes for a punt return for a touchdown are not realized.
5:43 – On 3rd and 2, the broadcasters helpfully tell us that it’s not good to give up a big pass to any team. Yeah, thanks. Should a team score points to win, too?
5:44 Colts pick up a first down. Peyton zips the ball for 5 yards.
5:45 – A lovely little video and discussion about Peyton Manning’s injured thumb. What do you do if it’s the fourth quarter and your thumb is bleeding? Suck on it, apparently.
5:46 – A dropped pass puts Peyton with a third and long, which he converts into a touchdown. Yeah, I’m pretty sure his thumb’s okay.
5:48 – But who’s thumb’s not okay? The fool from the Colts who decided now would be a good time to do his Tony Romo impression. Bears 7, Colts 6.
5:50 – “More like Super Botch, am I right?” So says Patrick St. Michel as Devon Hester fumbles the ball.
5:51 – But it’s short lived as a Colts receiver fumbles the ball and the Bears recover it. Could the rain be playing a factor in this game?
5:52 – All those problems that the Colts run defense were having seem to have come back. Thomas Jones rips through the Colts to bring it to the 5.
5:55 – No botched snaps here, as the Bears pick up an extra point after a Moose reception. Bears 14, Colts 6
6:00 – This is the second consecutive play where the Colts seem to be running the wrong direction. Whomp whomp.
6:03 – Devon Hester teases us with the beginnings of a big return, but instead goes only a few yards.
6:04 – Zebras convene and finally determine that a pass was a pushout and was, in fact, a reception for a first down.
6:06 – Ian Scott gets a “paw” on a pass and tips it, according to the commentators. I don’t know it that was a Bears joke or not, but I’d like to think it was, giving creedence to my theory that sports announcers are only slighter more intelligent than models.
6:07 – An encroachment call gives the Colts more yards. Unfortunately, they elect not to go for a fake and just do the punt.
6:12 – Back on after more tehcnical difficulties. Bears fans go through a scare when Cedric Benson takes a while to get up from a nasty hit.
6:13 – With seconds left in the quarter, a Chicago punt puts the ball just shy of the 50.
6:14 – What could be more horrific than replaying the Benson hit again? Showing David Spade. Anyone who watches his new show doesn’t deserve to eat.
6:15 – End of the first quarter. It’s been ugly, what with the four turnovers, botched snap and relentless rain. Bears 14, Colts 6.
Second Quarter
6:18 – Nice pass from Manning to give the Colts a first down. Even bigger props to CBS’s sound guys, who managed to amplify the sound of the reception so much that my chest kind of stung after hearing it.
6:19 – Announcers advise us to not watch the gyrations during the Manning show. No comment.
6:24 – Oh wireless, how you vex me. While I was gone, the Colts managed to not botch a snap and pick up a field goal. Bears 14, Colts 9
6:35 – Surprisingly, Hester doesn’t return the punt. Instead, Rasheed Davis does something unremarkable.
6:27 – How long before someone made a ham-fisted comment about the black head coaches? Just until now, when someone brings it up by mentioning that February is Black History Month.
6:28 – Nasty tackle and the Bears have to kick it back.
6:30 – Who failed meteorology school? Worst banter ever.
6:31 – Nice pass from Peyton. The second quarter is shaping up to be much better than the first. Ditto for his next pass.
6:32 – The rain is so bad, it’s even difficult to see through the camera lens. I wonder if this is going to hamper Prince’s halftime performance. My goodness, I hope not.
6:33 – Colts are in striking distance, picking up another first down, then coming just short of a TD. Looks like Peyton’s good at doing things outside of the advertising world.
6:34 – Indy picks up a TD. After a mini-debate about whether to go for 2, they end up just going for the PAT and not botching the snap. Colts 16, Bears 14.
6:36 – Coolest graphic ever? I love it when they draw lines on the field. The jumbotron on the field, though, not so much.
6:45 – Wireless cut out, erasing the last 10 minutes of posts. Needless to say, not much happened.
6:48 – With about a foot to go for the first down, the Colts get it. Ever since the second Bears score, it’s been the Manning show.
6:49 – And literally as I type that, the Bears cause a fumble and pick up possession.
6:50 – But it’s shortlived, as another fumble gives it back to the Colts. Rex botched the snap. It’s ugly.
6:52 – I suddenly realize how little time is left in the quarter. With 49 seconds left, the Colts make another pretty play. It’s back to the Manning show.
6:52 – FG attempt with a couple of seconds left. The Colts almost botch it by letting time run out. That would have been the ultimate Tony Romo moment.
6:55 – Yeah, Lovie Smith. Calling a timeout right before Viniatieri kicks is going to put enough pressure on him to miss. I’m pretty sure he never responds to pressure.
6:56 – To cover my tracks, I’m going to tell you to read the last post as completely serious. Since Adam “Iceman” Viniatieri just missed the FG.
6:56 – With the end of the quarter, the score remains Colts 16, Bears 14. It’s been an alright game, but imagine how it would be without the rain.
Alright, I’m out. Enjoy Prince! I hope he plays “Kiss.” That song rules.
Third Quarter
7:26 – And we’re back. Prince was cool and the flag shadow thing was cool enough to make me ignore the absence of “Kiss.” The Bears kick off and Ind has it on the 38.
7:28 – The Bears D really hasn’t shown up for, say, the last quarter.
7:29 – And Manning picks up the award for the least graceful pass ever. Seriously, that looked painful.
7:30 – Speaking of painful, Utecht is hurt. Oh dear. Maybe a crushing hit was what the Bears D needed to get started again.
Apparently not. Colts pick up another first down.
7:33 – I swear, the commentator just spoke in mock Ebonics. All that talk about this game being big for African-Americans just got set back.
7:34 – Offsides? Nope, it’s actually a false start. Not even Peyton’s imitation of the Bears could convince the officials otherwise.
7:36 – Dungy just challenges the number of players on the field. Could the quick snap have really worked? No, the commentators count it down Sesame Street-style (11, 11 defenders on the field) and we see that this was really the lamest challenge ever.
7:38 – Yup, that was a pretty wasteful challenge. Dungy’s probably going to want that timeout back later.
7:39 – So Viniatieri hasn’t totally lost it. Colts 19, Bears 14.
7:42 – Here comes Rex Grossman. It feels like it’s been ages since we saw him last.
7:45 – It’s been 56 minutes, to be exact. But they apparently used their time off well, picking up a first down on a Thomas Jones run.
7:46 – Grossman’s under pressure. He couldn’t have handled it any worse, tripping and making it 3rd & 12.
7:47 – Now he botched the snap. Ouch, ouch, ouch.
7:49 – Right, I’m really going to vote for the MVP by texting a player’s full name. Could they have chosen a more obnoxious way for fans to vote?
7:50 – Wow, Rhodes picks up a huge run and the Colts are on the 28.
7:51 – And just like that, there’s a facemask and the Colts are on the 10.
7:53 – Three plays and the Colts aren’t in the endzone. Go for it? I would have, but Dungy’s calling in the Iceman.
7:54 – It looks like a foul, but Indy wisely declines it. Colts 22, Bears 14.
7:58 – The Bears don’t even need Devon Hester to score big on the kick return. A personal foul puts the ball close to the 40.
8:02 – Maybe Rex should just stick to the running game, as his pass falls…nowhere.
8:03 – Rex runs around like a chicken without a head before almost throwing a pick. Two Colts defenders do a well-coordinated dance.
8:04 – Uber-consistent Robbie Gould executes on the field goal. He was almost MVP of my league-winning fantasy football team. Colts 22, Bears 17.
8:05 – Pretty cool shot of the cameraman being knocked over into a puddle. Somebody get him a towel.
8:07 – Two officials duke it out (sort of) over whether Harrison has possession before going out of bounds. Dungy rightly challenges the call of incomplete pass.
8:09 – And the call gets overturned, giving Indy a 3rd and 2. Peyton zips the pass to Reggie Wayne and picks up another first down to end the quarter.
Fourth Quarter
8:13 – A false start on Indy gets erased on a 5-yard run.
8:17 – Big ol’ pass from Manning, a possible fumble, a nasty fall for Harrison and it all ends in an incomplete. Anticlimatic as what.
8:19 – A holding call erases a Thomas Jones first down. I like to equate big holding fouls like that with missed free throws in basketball. They just shouldn’t happen if you’re, you know, a professional athlete.
8:20 – Wait, I thought bad Rex was playing this game. He throws a laser to Moose.
8:21- Oh, I was right. Rexy throws an interception and the Colts run it back for a TD. Uh oh, challenge. Was he out of bounds? It’s close.
8:24 – The call stands, but let’s not fault Lovie for the challenge. It wasn’t as bad as that pile of “12 players on the field” that Dungy pulled earlier.
8:25 – Viniatieri gets the extra point. I almost wrote “shanks the kick” to sound like the guys on ESPN, but then I remembered that that’s a really bad expression and it just doesn’t make sense.
8:28 – It’s wicked wet out there. This could be the first time I’ve ever been glad I don’t have Super Bowl tickets.
8:30- There goes another Grossman interception. There’s a flag on the play, though.
8:31 – The ref bumbles his way through announcing two personal fouls, so nothing happens. Except for him looking like a fool.
8:33 – Manning calls a timeout, but the center must have missed the memo, since he snaps it anyway. It’s awkward.
8:36 – Sack. It puts the Colts out of field goal range, so it’s a pretty big play. Indy is forced to punt.
8:38 – Indy is called for delay of game on the punt, but they still get it off effectively.
8:41 – There’s a QB stats comparison and it doesn’t look good at all for Rex Grossman.
8:41 – Thomas Jones almost fumbles it, but it ends up looking cool when he catches it off his own arms.
8:44 – After some unremarkable Bears runs, Marvin Jackson is down with a nasty shoulder injury. Why is CBS so obsessed with showing us these painful injuries in excruciating slow motion?
8:45 – Just when it looks like Grossman had done something good and picked up a first down on 4th & 9, Jones drops the ball.
8:49 – There’s a holding call against Indianapolis, but it doesn’t really matter anymore. Unless Rex gets bit by a radioactive spider or something, this game’s over.
8:50 – They show a shot of Rex Grossman’s sad, pudgy face that’s almost as depressing as that one GM commercial with the suicidal manufacturing robot.
8:55 – It’s time for a little Dungy lovin’. Apparently the only time he swore was when he said “Best Damn Shorts Show Period.” So he’s Mormon?
8:58 – Dungy gets his well-earned Gatorade bath and Peyton Manning picks up a well-earned Super Bowl ring with a final score of 29-17. Congrats to the Colts.
My pick for MVP? Rain. Followed by Prince.